Thứ Sáu, 10 tháng 5, 2013

Remain single, a man claims compensation from the authorities

This strange story occurred in Kien Thuy district of the northern port city of Hai Phong.

 marry, marriage, foreign husband, hai phong
A judiciary officer of Pha Le commune, Thuy Nguyen district with the pile of profiles of girls who marry foreigners.

Previously, only Lap Le Commune in Thuy Nguyen district was "famous" for the movement of getting married with foreigners of the local women. But this trend has widespread to many other communes in Hai Phong and caused many sad stories.
The family of Mr. NVH in Quan Muc hamlet of Dai Co commune, Kien Thuy district was suddenly well-known after he asked the commune chairman to compensate him because his only son remained on the self.
NVH’s son – named T – was abandoned by his girlfriend to marry a Korean man just a few days before their betrothal ceremony.
It is said that T went to sea to earn money to marry his girlfriend. But when he earned enough money and returned home, he was informed of her girlfriend’s marriage with a Korean man. His beautiful affair ended after two years. T was so disappointed so he left home to sea again.
His parents then urged him to get married but he could not forget his first love. Moreover, at the age of 35, he did not have the mood to flirt girls and there was no girls in the village for him to flirt since most of them have married foreign men.
The movement to marry foreign men appeared in Lap Le in 2001 and it is still until now. Up to nearly 80 percent of women get married with foreign men through illegal matchmakers.
Without only one son, T’s farther was very worried. He went to the commune office to claim compensation from the chairman. He argued that because all local women get married with foreigners, his son could not find a girl to marry. The commune chair, Mrs. Pham Thi Thuy comforted and advised him to go home to find a girl from other locations for his son.
Thuy said that in her commune, there are up to 800 women who marry foreigners. Many families have 3-4 daughters who get married with foreign men.
According to the local government’s statistics, six percent of the local families have two daughters marrying foreigners; 1.4 percent of households with three women and another 1.4 percent with four women marrying foreign men.
Scarcity of women affects the gender balance in the commune. Currently, for each one local man who gets married with a local woman, two others marry with women outside the commune. The commune government knows the matter but they cannot prevent local girls from leaving their villages since they have freedom of marriage.
The movement may spread further
The movement to get married foreign men has spread from Dai Hop commune in Kien Thuy district and Lap Le commune in Thuy Nguyen district to many other communes in Hai Phong.
The Secretary of the Lap Le Commune Youth Union, Mr. Vu Hong Ha, said that 80 percent of local girls have left their villages with their foreign husbands. The commune now has only men, who have to seek wives from other locations, especially mountainous provinces.
As all young women have left their villages, some women of over 40 now try to have a baby for “compensation.”
Mrs. Hoang Thi Nhuan, an official of Dai Co commune, said: "The gap in the rate of men and women in the commune is very wide. There are only men in villages so some women at the age of 40 continue to give birth.”
Because of lacking women, men in the communes of Lap Le, Phuc Le, Dai Hop get married very late compared to other regions. The average age for marriage is 30.
Most of them seek wives through matchmakers and their marriage is very fast. Mr. H, 24, in Phuc Le commune was match-made with a girl in Minh Tan commune. After only two months knowing each other, H asked his parents to hold the wedding. H said he had to marry him as quick as possible otherwise he would be left on the self like older men in the commune.
The local government cannot do anything because the law does not prohibit women from marrying foreign men. Moreover, even daughters of officials also got married with foreigners, for example the daughter of Lap Le Commune Chairman.
Do not blame women
Women rushing to get married with foreign men is a phenomenon for many years in some provinces such as Hai Phong, Hai Duong and the Mekong Delta.
Since 1998, more than 300,000 Vietnamese women married to foreigners and the number is increasing. Therefore, this should not be seen as the movement but a choice and a change in the concept of the value of marriage of Vietnamese women today. Most women took initiative in choosing a foreign man to marry and they got themselves prepared for this (learning foreign languages and foreign culture).
According to research by the Institute of Labor- Social Studies, in the seven provinces with the highest numbers of women marrying to foreigners, up to 83.6 percent of the Vietnamese brides were happy with their marriage. Only a few of them were cheated to marry unexpected men or suffered from family violence.
Women should not be blamed for marrying foreign men. We should see the "internal" causes from the society and even in the Vietnamese men to explain for the phenomenon. If these women have a stable career and can find a good husband, they would not have left the country.
Dan Viet

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